December 7, 2009
Couldn't Everybody Use A Buddy?
This weekend our family saw the new movie "The Blind Side", starring Sandra Bullock. What an extraordinary and uplifting movie! Her performance was great, and there were a couple of other breakout roles that you will recognize when you see the movie. But, this column isn't about the movie. The column is about the social commentary that the movie presents.
It's clear and obvious when you walk out of the film that there is a social responsibility that each of us has, that most of us have been ducking for years. What made the film so striking was that Sandra Bullock and her on-screen family took in a stranger who was struggling to make it in our society. They effectively became his "big buddy." In the movie, it was more dramatic, but for our purposes, a buddy describes the situation very well.
I wonder if all of us shouldn't think about becoming a big buddy to someone who really needs our help. I am not talking about a kid who doesn't have a father — which is a rough situation that some organizations already address. I am suggesting that each of us needs to adopt a person or a family of lesser means (or someone who has been less successful in society than they could be) and to help them to optimize their opportunities.
We have serious gang problems and other issues that are not going to go away by themselves, and we can't expect that the government is going to make them go away either. All of us have to work together to make these problems go away, and maybe a buddy system is the answer.
I don't know how to put together a buddy system, but I am on the Board of Directors of the Los Angeles Boys & Girls Club, and I do know that there are people in that organization who certainly could make it happen. So, I am going to pass this concept on to that organization in the form of a challenge — perhaps they will embrace the concept of establishing a buddy system in our local community. Maybe that small initiative will flourish and become something bigger for other communities across the country.
Although there are some who will think this is ridiculous and that everybody makes their own bed, it's my opinion that some people just don't have the tools or haven't been taught the attitudes necessary to get out of the hole that they live in.
If you have interest in this, please let us know by commenting on this post and in the meantime, perhaps my colleagues at the Boys & Girls Club who are committed to helping children and families all over the country will have some other ideas.
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Comments on Couldn't Everybody Use A Buddy? »
I absolutely agree that helping others is core to the value that everyone can bring to the world. Much of the time, it is not considered because people feel that they don't have enough time, money, or personal security to do this. These are all good reasons that may limit what you can do. But, I believe that we can all do a little more. It just takes a willingness to be aware of others around you and some honest introspection about what you can give up. Being a buddy does not need to be a full time job.
What a great idea - reach out and touch somebody with an act of human kindness. Most people don't stop to think about how much they can do for another human being just by taking the time to CARE about that person. It's so easy to do - and when it's over you're left with such satisfaction that it's even easier to turn around and help someone else. Thanks for the article, Joel!
Joel,
Right on target. There's a program I participate in a program at a local elementary actually called "Lunch Buddies" coordinated by Big Brothers (Big Brothers/Big Sisters), and have done so for over a year. I mentor a youngster, along with other Mentors (Bigs), to sit and have lunch in the school library weekly. I ask my Buddy, how is school, about his successes, or challenges, generally how are things at home, hear what he has to say, laugh, or whatever.
Most of the mentees (Lunch Buddies) are from single-parent families (some have foster parents), and are in desperate need of positive roles models. These kids are eager for positive encouragement at a critical time in their life. I am seeing positive results with my Buddy, beyond my expectation. I feel differently about myself too, little better, but more humbled. The call is for us to do more for those Buddy's who have less, much less.
I encourage all to hear Joel's message, and give a little, particularly for youth who yearn for consistency, steadiness, and more positive influences.
We have a mentor program at the middle school where I work. Every year I try to mentor a student or two - while it is my job to mentor 180. Every year I feel like a huge failure. I am looking forward to suggestions.
You are doing a wonderful effort in the mentorship of two people who need your help, skills and ideas. Why is your job to mentor 180. Maybe someone can teach 180 but you can't get inside of the lives of that many people. Each of us has to adopt one or two other people (and others have to adopt us) to create a fantastic web of support. That would be a wonderful world and you are on the track to making it happen. Thanks for your contribution. JGB